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You are unique
Andrei Isaev
The development of a human, of their personality and basic psychological processes begins in childhood.All the important psychological features, with which a person enters the independent adult world, are acquired in one’s childhood.At this age, the child is surrounded by parents, teachers, relatives – people who are directly involved in the development of the child. And the success of this development depends on them.These are the people this book is written for.
You are unique
Andrei Isaev
Translator Vasili Marshev
Translator Andrei Isaev
© Andrei Isaev, 2023
© Vasili Marshev, translation, 2023
© Andrei Isaev, translation, 2023
ISBNВ 978-5-0051-4823-0
Created with Ridero smart publishing system
Introduction
The development ofВ aВ human, his/her personality and basic psychological processes begins inВ childhood.
All the important psychological features, with which a person enters the independent adult world, are acquired in one’s childhood.
It is difficult toВ overestimate the influence ofВ childhood on the life ofВ an adult.
At this age, the child is surrounded by parents, teachers, relatives – people who are directly involved in the development of the child. And the success of this development depends on them.
This book is for people who surround the child.
It will focus mainly on the children at pre-school and primary school stages.
These stages are extremely important for the development ofВ the child. The experience gained inВ developmental psychology helps toВ resolve many issues that parents have toВ face raising the child at thisВ age.
The purpose ofВ the present is toВ aid parents and teachers inВ the development ofВ aВ happy, successful person, effective inВ all areas ofВ personal and social life. This development begins inВ childhood.
AtВ home
One child is enough toВ fill the whole house and aВ yard.
Mark Twain
1.В Why establish rules and how toВ doВ it?
The child has aВ sense ofВ duty not imposed byВ force, tends toВ order, does not abandon rules and responsibilities. He/she only wishes that the burden would not be too heavy, that it would not break his/her back, that he/she would meet understanding whenever he staggers, slips, is tired, stops toВ catch his/her breath.
Janusz Korczak
Psychologists have noticed long ago that at the age of 6—10 years, children want to imitate their parents. Children are ready to communicate, learn skills and cooperate
At this age, it is important for children toВ follow established rituals and habits. It is also important for children that their parents have determined limits toВ regulate their desires and impulses. Children need rituals and clear rules.
Without rules supervised byВ parents, children learn negative habits, start back talking, react aggressively toВ requests.
For education toВ be successful, it must be organized.
Proper organization allows children toВ feel safe, self-confident, toВ feel confidence inВ others, which is very important for development.
Parents, when they engage inВ the education ofВ aВ child as aВ team, create order. Thanks toВ this order, children feel calm and always know what they are allowed toВ do, when andВ how.
Establishing rules helps toВ organize the activities ofВ the child, toВ obtain the freedom ofВ action. Rules give the child this freedom.
If rules are missing or unclear, the child does not know how toВ behave. He/she can only guess.
The child, being aware ofВ clear and understandable rules, feels respected and accepted byВ the adults who make the rules. Rules help toВ build trust between parents and the child.
Children like toВ follow rules, children often criticize parents for not complying with the rules. And kids are right inВ doingВ so.
It is important toВ understand the difference between commands and rules. The rule is aВ clear, predetermined order that should be always followed byВ everybody. The command is given byВ aВ superior toВ an inferior.
Rules are clear principles which are followed always and everywhere. AВ coercion or aВ command are not rules.
Therefore, prohibitions work only if they are accompanied byВ rules.
What makes aВ rule effective?
Here are some features ofВ affective rules:
Consistency. Both parents should establish and control compliance with the rules. AВ rule does not last long withoutВ it.
Precision. The rule should be clear toВ the child. Formulate it as simply as possible.
Here are some examples of precise and imprecise rules taken from Daniele Novara’s “Do Not Yell At Children”:
Imprecise rules:
– Sit still
– Don’t play with your food
– Eat it all
– Don’t bother your brothers and sisters
– Only adults can turn on the TV
Precise rules:
+ Sit, do not stand, at the dinner-table
+ You can’t leave the table until everyone is finished.
+ The TV must be turnedВ off
+ You canВ talk
+ Everyone sits inВ their own seats
Practicality. The child should understand how toВ follow aВ rule and be able toВ do it. AВ rule should be appropriate toВ the age ofВ the child.
Feasibility. Rules must be formulated inВ aВ way they can be implemented. For example, one cannot run and not sweat. It is almost impossible for aВ child toВ play outside and not get dirty. Playing with other children without fighting is also very difficult (and does not make much sense)
Rationality. The rule should have positive educational goals. You can always ask yourself: does this rule help my child toВ develop?
Books
в—Џ Faber, A., & Mazlish, E. (2012). How toВ talk so kids will listen & listen so kids will talk. Simon and Schuster.
2.В How toВ praise the child?
Every child should be measured byВ his/her own standard and rewarded with his/her own well-deserved praise. Not success, but effort deserves aВ reward.
John Ruskin
“Endurance and hard work” – this slogan helps to develop a strong intellectual Self.
Intellectual Self is our attitude toВ our own mental processes, our intelligence. Psychologists associate the development ofВ the intellectual Self with the development ofВ self-esteem.
Self-esteem is an important thing inВ our life and is affected byВ praise. Praise is aВ powerful tool inВ development and education. When used right, praise helps us toВ create aВ personality able toВ enjoy intellectual challenges, toВ respect the value ofВ the effort, and toВ cope with failures.
Praise in careless hands brings harm. In this case, children become dependent on praise. Instead of supporting, praise turns children into passive and dependent on other people’s opinions.
ByВ praising children for their intelligence and calling them smart for completing exercises, parents tell their children that intelligence is an ornament, not aВ tool. AВ tool through which we are able toВ solve problems, find solutions for problematic situations.
When you praise the child for their efforts, it teaches him/her perseverance inВ achieving goals. Praising intelligence has the opposite effect.
Some 4В years old children lose enthusiasm when facing obstacles. The parents ofВ these children tend toВ criticize them for small mistakes.
But when parents fit their expectations toВ the capabilities ofВ children, praise their efforts and allow them toВ choose exercises, it develops optimism and leads toВ positive results.
Learning is aВ process, but not the proof ofВ success or talent.
When you praise persistence, strategy, the ability toВ concentrate, the ability toВ finish tasks, you train and strengthen these qualities inВ your child.
Recommendations
в—Џ Praise the child not only for achievements but rather for efforts. The child should understand that even if the result was not achieved, nevertheless, effort and perseverance are very important.
в—Џ Look for the positive. You can find something positive inВ every action. AВ goal, for example.
в—Џ AВ good praise is valuable and specific. You can tell exactly what you praise the child for, what you liked inВ his/her behavior.
в—Џ Be careful when you compare the child toВ others.
● A great way is to compare the child with himself/herself in the past. “Your results are better than a month ago” is a good example. “You finally scored more than Shawn!” is a bad example. Comparing with others develops the wrong motivation. After all, we do not try to exceed someone else’s results, we try to become better ourselves.
в—Џ Compare inВ moderation. Learning is not aВ competition. Sometimes periods without obvious improvements are stages ofВ growth and development.
Books
в—Џ Kazdin, A. E., & Rotella, C. (2013). The everyday parenting toolkit: The Kazdin method for easy, step-by-step, lasting change for you and your child. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.
3.В Reading together with children
Children should live inВ aВ world ofВ beauty, games, fairy tales, music, drawing, fantasy, creativity.
Vasily Alexandrovich Sukhomlinsky
Research on developmental psychology suggests that reading good literature with children helps the child become successful inВ the most important areas:
в—Џ Interactions ofВ fairy tale characters helps toВ build relationships inВ the team, develop communication skills.
в—Џ Reading and understanding fairy tales develop mental skills: attention, imagination, thinking,В etc.
в—Џ It is useful toВ read aloud with the child. Reading aloud together brings intimacy, builds trust inВ the family, shows shared interests, makes reading more theatrical.
Family rituals, traditions, habits help to develop a calm emotional atmosphere in the family. Regular family activities help the child develop a stable system of family values. It is important for the child to feel the safety and stability of the family world – it helps to be confident and trust the world around. Family reading may be that tradition, that ritual.
Reading together cultivates aВ literary taste inВ children. It awakens interest and helps toВ navigate inВ the world ofВ culture.
Steps
There are several steps toВ help your child love reading, toВ be able toВ explain what was read, toВ understand the meaning, toВ link it toВ the real world or the world ofВ fairy tales:
I. Before reading:
Preparation for reading develops important psychological skills: prognostication, imagination, thinking.
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